PSYCHOLOGY

Fall in love with yourself

Self-love is a seemingly simple concept, and yet it is still foreign to many of us. It can be associated with selfishness or even narcissism, but nothing could be further from the truth: self-love is an extremely important skill, affecting not only our perception of ourselves, but also our well-being, mental resilience and relationships with others. There is only one person with whom we will be forced to spend the rest of our lives, and it’s common knowledge that it’s much easier and better to have someone we accept and love by our side. In this case, that person is ourselves.

Aleksandra Łomzik

What is self-love all about?

Self-love can take many forms depending on our personal beliefs, values or disposition. Nevertheless, psychologists distinguish several essential building blocks for this skill. These are:

  • Self-acceptance, which means accepting yourself fully as you are – with no exceptions, even for traits we dislike or mistakes from the past;
  • Taking care of your body and mind, or broadly defined self-care – prioritizing your needs on every level and protecting your boundaries;
  • Self-awareness – knowing your strengths and weaknesses, understanding your feelings and emotions and their importance; 
  • Self-esteem, or confidence in your abilities and the realization that your weaknesses do not make you inferior or less valuable as a person.

Quality or skill?

Is self-love something we are born with? It turns out that it’s not: self-love is a skill as well as a habit. Like all skills, it can be trained and developed, while habits can be changed and reinforced. So where do we start? In her book “The Self Love Habit”, Fiona Brennan describes four habits we should acquire to develop self-love. They are:

L – Listen: let’s listen to our hearts, feelings and emotions, let’s be understanding to ourselves;