With the mind, things are different. Even the word resilience, which also means immunity – the immunity of the mind – sounds quite foreign. Not to mention that we have not been taught how to take care of this area. And yet this is an extremely important issue, not just during the season, but all year round. That’s because resilience is all about how our body responds to stress and whether it can neutralise the negative effects of stress on the mood and body quickly enough.
Resilience – is it acquired or innate?
Similarly to the ‘traditional’ immunity, some of us have naturally higher resilience levels. Such people cope better with traumatic events, are more flexible when confronted with life’s challenges, and do not experience as severe somatic symptoms of stress. This largely depends on your individual character, but also upbringing and support from people around you. And this is actually good news – because it means that there are external drivers of resilience we can control. As a result, we can build it up, like we do with immunity to seasonal colds.
What to do to improve your resilience?
People with strong resilience often leverage the power of a supportive environment: their family, friends, acquaintances. It’s good to have this power base and use support when you feel bad. Interestingly, helping others also builds resilience, which is why it’s so important to nurture relationships.
It will probably come as no surprise if we say that resilience and self-confidence go hand in hand. People who have confidence in their decisions and do not indulge in negative self-talk are much better at handling stressful situations. We wrote about gaining self-confidence HERE. As you can see, developing this trait is beneficial in many other ways.
Optimism will also work as a strong shield to protect us against the effects of stress. Of course, this is not about falling into the trap of positive thinking and experiencing successive disappointments. Instead, we are talking about an attitude that makes us tackle potential problems creatively, with an action-oriented mindset rather than an expectation of failure. This empowerment, obviously, is linked to self-confidence, but it also requires you to believe in success. Helplessness, or a “doomed to fail” attitude, will let stress take over, making traumas harder to recover from.
Can optimism be learned?
Of course. For instance, by asking yourself the right questions to challenge your negative beliefs. It sounds complicated, but in reality it is extremely simple. Let’s say friends cancelled a visit you were looking forward to. The negative belief is: for sure we are not as important to them as they are to us, or maybe we’re unimportant at all. Some of us tend to catastrophise the future even further, believing, for example, that the relationship is slowly but inexorably going to cool off or even break. Here, training yourself to be more optimistic will involve challenging these assumptions. Ask yourself if there are other reasons why they cancelled. After all, they could have been ill or could have had an emergency. Then analyse the situation rationally – can one evening ruin a long-standing friendship? And finally, identify an action that will help you control the situation – for example, decide that you will try to reschedule the meeting tomorrow. This behavioural pattern is proposed by professor Martin Seligman, an American psychologist, who describes his methods as positive psychology.
Some psychologists also believe that practising gratitude is a way to build a positive attitude toward the world. No matter what kind of day you’ve had, list the things that went well before you go to bed. Appreciate your achievements, but also the favours from our friends and family or anything else that makes you feel good. This will help you build an attitude that will support you in tougher times.
What else can you exercise to gain resilience?
It turns out... it’s the body. Eating a proper diet, exercising and good night’s sleep will benefit your health and make you more resistant to stress.
However, at times, no matter how hard you try, building resilience could be difficult or even completely impossible. There can be many reasons, like strong unprocessed traumas or feeling unsafe from an early age. The perfect solution would then be to seek the help of a therapist.
Why does it matter? Because resilience is like a shield against the many life adversities. It determines, to a large extent, whether they will make you stronger or even more battered. Remember that, after all, prevention is much better than cure.
How to build resilience?
- Nurture friendship and have supportive people around you.
- Strengthen your self-confidence.
- Don’t expect to fail – be optimistic about your life.
- Practice appreciation.
- Take care of a proper diet and exercise.
- If you can’t cope on your own, ask a specialist to help you.