Macho Culture or Sensitivity? How to Develop Male Emotionality

The effects of macho culture in the 20th century

For centuries, western societies have shaped their idea of masculinity based on emotional restraint. In the 19th and early 20th centuries, the prevailing belief was that typical and conforming male behaviour involved not showing affection. Men were seen as breadwinners and protectors of the family, and their lack of sensitivity and high self-control were thought to promote both roles. In contrast, excessive expression of feelings was considered inappropriate.

The modern understanding of masculinity is still based on the assumption that this is innate and assigned to biological sex. Meanwhile, “masculinity” is more of a social construct than a biological one. Expecting every man to have a specific set of traits that fit a culturally created template can be hurtful and result in negative consequences in the areas of quality of life and mental health.

The emergence of “macho culture” in the mid-20th century reinforced restrictive emotional norms for men. Cultural phenomena, highlighted in westerns, for example, and the promotion of the “tough guy” personality, cultivated physical fitness and the suppression of emotions. Emotional sensitivity was equated with weakness, making the suppression of emotions a desirable trait and a way to cope with feelings such as sadness or grief. Such expectations resulted in higher rates of emotional isolation among men, which researchers link to mental health problems that can lead to depression, for example.

Psychological consequences of suppressing emotions

While stereotypical perceptions of masculinity are still prevalent, numerous studies show that replicating a pattern of masculinity based on the saying “Boys don’t cry” places a psychological burden on men and has real consequences for their well-being. The suppression of emotions has been linked to alexithymia – a difficulty in understanding and expressing feelings – which affects men more often than women. It has also been shown that men who adhere to traditional norms of masculinity are more likely to engage in harmful coping mechanisms, such as aggression, rather than openly facing their emotions. Striving to maintain a “tough guy” image leads to numerous problems, such as:

1. Increased risk of depression and anxiety disorders

Suppressing natural emotions such as sadness, fear or sensitivity can lead to the accumulation of unresolved feelings, which negatively affects mental health. Studies show that men who rigidly adhere to traditional norms of masculinity are more likely to experience symptoms of depression and anxiety, but less likely to recognise them. Suppression of emotions often manifests itself as irritability, aggression or withdrawal. 

2. Higher suicide rate

All over the world, men are much more likely to commit suicide than women. In the United States, for example, as many as 79% of suicides are committed by men. A key reason for this disparity is the inability to express emotions and the fear associated with seeking mental health care. Studies show that men who live by traditional masculine norms are less likely to disclose suicidal thoughts or seek professional help, further exacerbating the problem.

3. Worse physical health

Chronic suppression of emotions negatively affects physical health by exacerbating physiological responses to stress. Long-term stress contributes to problems such as cardiovascular diseases and lowered immunity. Men who avoid dealing with emotional suffering are also more likely to engage in risky behaviour, such as smoking and excessive alcohol consumption, which further damages their physical health.

How can men develop emotional intelligence?

Studies found that men are much less likely than women to seek mental health assistance. This does not help build strategies for dealing with emotions and developing emotional intelligence – the ability to understand and use emotional information in cognitive processes (e.g., thinking, processing information, making decisions, etc.). Nevertheless, there are ways that can help men develop this skill. These include:

1. Redefining masculinity norms through education and awareness

One of the first steps in caring for men’s well-being is to redefine rigid norms of masculinity. Educational programmes and campaigns can get the public to reflect on thinking about masculinity. For example, workshops or so-called men’s circles that challenge traditional stereotypes of masculinity and encourage men to discuss their feelings in a safe, non-judgmental environment have been shown to increase openness and self-awareness. Such initiatives help people understand that emotional intelligence is a useful competence, not a weakness, and that emotions are part of human nature.

2. Exercising emotional competencies

Developing emotional skills, such as understanding and naming one’s feelings, is a key component of emotional intelligence. These competencies can be practiced and developed by recording your emotions in a diary and quantifying their intensity with numbers. In such training, the answers to these questions will be helpful:

• What emotion am I feeling right now?
• How sad am I on a scale of 1 to 10?
• What exactly made me sad?
• What thoughts accompany this emotion?
• What do I feel in my body right now?

This process helps identify emotions and reduce the fear of feeling them. Studies show that improving emotional skills positively affects relationships with others and reduces the tendency to suppress emotions.

3. Cultivating self-compassion skills

Self-compassion is the ability to treat oneself with kindness and understanding, especially in moments of failure or emotional distress. It can lead to the development of sensitivity and improved psychological well-being, reducing the tendency to excessive self-criticism.

Despite the growing awareness of the harmfulness of traditional perceptions of masculinity, the old patterns are still present. Men in cultural, social or business contexts still face stigma when they show sensitivity. Solving this problem requires systemic changes in the way we are raised or educated.

However, it seems that younger generations are becoming more accepting of greater emotional expression. It is worth working to promote the idea of a new definition of masculinity that includes both strength and emotional authenticity. This approach will take the pressure off men, which negatively affects their mental health and quality of life.

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